The retired monkeys who had traveled to space, once upon a time, were bored and got to chatting.
They were irritated with humans trying to reach Mars with their remote control go carts that kept failing. They could do better. After all, the monkeys had made as many trips to space as humans.
So the monkeys broke out of the zoo.
And built a spaceship.
Half-way through the project they ran out of funds, so they sold candy bars to children and candles to old ladies to raise money to complete the spacecraft.
The ladies and children were quite impressed with the monkey’s entrepreneurial spirit.
The monkeys even attracted quite a crowd as they completed their spaceship.
They only hoped the zookeeper wouldn’t happen along and find them!
After weeks of building and dozens of trips to their helpful hardware man, the day came when they would launch their craft and cruise to Mars.
They loaded the spaceship with enough food for the trip, as long as it didn’t take longer than a week, and prepared for launch.
Before the three monkeys—Bob (smart), Skip (cool), and Dave (dopey)—entered the spacecraft, one of the ground space crew threw…uh, a monkey wrench into the project when he asked a perplexing question.
“What is our mission?” Dan, a young grounds crew monkey, asked.
Bob the monkey-naut scratched his chin, Skip scratched his head, and Dave was picking nits off Bob.
“Indeed,” said Bob, “What is our mission?”
Skip looked up into the air, waved his arm out as if sprinkling magic dust across the crowd, and said, “Our mission is…to go where no monkey has gone before...”
Dave shook his head in agreement and tried to separate his fingers with two on each side and hold it in the air, but his timing was off and he couldn’t get his fingers configured just right anyway.
The old wise monkey, who they just called, “The Monk” tried to speak—which he did not often do, but his voice was drowned out by the countdown, which was set on auto.
10—9—8— time was wasting! No more time to think about the mission, Bob, Skip, and Dave had to get in the ship or it would take off and aimlessly drift without them, just like those un-Monkeyed missions the humans always sent to Mars. No, they had to get in. *deep breaths*
“All aboard!” shouted Phil, the second grounds crew member.