What are YOU hiding? I am not saying that you have a big secret. Ok, that's rhetorical. I mean, like you, I like to do things on my "own terms." But in situations similar to Peter's third denial of Jesus (even though denial is not what you would do), some truths about ourselves could cause us, like him, to weep bitterly. And these same truths can choke the life out of the self you intrinsically want to be ... especially when you possess, live, and perform on your terms only. If this is something you deal with, I know you also take comfort in the fact that your creator would most likely prefer you be genuine than be confused, but as He is accountable to Himself only, it is WE who are accountable to HIM.